


It Can Wait

by CC99trialanderrorgirl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Be prepared for laughter but LOTS of second hand embarassment, Embarrassment, Hux Wearing the Slave Leia Costume, M/M, SO MUCH Embarassment, Slave Armitage Hux, Slave Leia Outfit, The Awkwardness Is Strong with This One, roleplay gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 17:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13618314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC99trialanderrorgirl/pseuds/CC99trialanderrorgirl
Summary: Hux dresses up in *that* slave costume as a surprise for his new boyfriend, not knowing who Kylo Ren really is. Needless to say, when Kylo sees the outfit, he freaks out.By the end of it all, they’re both just standing in the same room, screaming. Because, well, it’s pretty damn embarrassing for them both.





	It Can Wait

 

Hux steps out of the closet, vibrating minutely with excitement. He is so sure Kylo is going to love this little surprise. It’s their four month anniversary, and in a fit of uncharacteristic sentimentality, Hux wanted to do something _nice_ for his boyfriend. He’d spent weeks planning it out, gathering all the proper materials…he even broke out a few of his old mechanical tools from his less theoretical engineering days to get the metal parts just right. He’s _proud_ of his creation, and he’s horny, and he can’t wait to engage in some no doubt ridiculous but inexplicably satisfying roleplay with his history buff, New Republic bred boyfriend. After all, even off on the edges of the Outer Rim, Hux has seen the holoporns. He imagines the sentiment must have been much stronger in New Republic territory, given the identity of the heroine.

“ _Oh, Kylo_ ,” he croons as he steps over the threshold and into the room, “ _please_ , _rescue me_.”

Sitting on the bed in nothing but his black boxer briefs, Kylo Ren blanches. _Well_ , Hux thinks, he knows his dialogue isn’t exactly in line with how the real story goes, but really, is Kylo _such_ a snob for accuracy that he won’t play along with Hux’s sexy little game? Hux has worked _hard_ om this after all. He decides to give it one more go. “Help me, Kylo Ren, Jabba the Hutt has me in his clutches – you’re my only hope!” He pitches his voice high and whiny, lets the neediness crawling just under his skin bleed through.

Kylo looks like he’s about to pass out or be sick. Then, suddenly, he _screams_ and runs out of the room.

Hux just stands there, confused and a little hurt, feeling silly and very, very cold because this purple and gold slave outfit does nothing to protect his pale, thin skin from the cold air whooshing in through the open door.

Later, when Hux is back on the bridge, feeling sad and put out and more than a little worried about his incommunicado boyfriend (he’s ignored _twelve_ comms from Hux – _twelve_!), someone – he isn’t even sure who – hands him a datapad with security feed on it. And, dear God, there is _Kylo_ _Ren_ in nothing but his underwear, power walking through the corridors of _Finalizer,_ not stopping until he reaches the hangar where his personal TIE Silencer is kept. Hux watches as the tiny Kylo on the screen bares his teeth at the security and technical personnel in the area, scaring them away without even the aid of the Force. Then, Hux watches in a state of stupefied horror as his boyfriend proceeds to _climb into his TIE Fighter naked except for his tiny black boxers_ and start the ignition sequences. He flies through them rapidly, without compromising even a hint of competence. It’s…rather sexy, actually, Hux thinks, and then remembers where he is. On the bridge. Standing in front of his entire crew. He tries to shift discreetly, pulls his greatcoat tighter around him to hide his…situation, but at no point does he stop watching. Kylo’s prowess with spacecraft really _is_ every bit as legendary as Hux as heard, and speaks to an almost preternatural affinity for flight – it’s not even the Force, Hux realizes. Somehow, it is very obvious that Kylo literally has flying in his veins, passed down through his very blood. He flies through the last of the sequence, initiates launch codes – though, Hux cannot fail to notice, his renegade boyfriend very pointedly does _not_ bother to notify command, as is protocol – and straps himself in. At the last moment, he retracts the cockpit a few inches and holds out his hand. Mere seconds later, his lightsaber comes hurtling through the air and thunks into his hand. Kylo closes his fist around the hilt and seals the hatch. Then he’s blasting out of the hangar at top speed, spinning the craft to maneuver between the shields and blast doors, which have not been adequately retracted by the time Kylo reaches them, due, of course, to his reckless and utterly unnecessary speed.

Hux closes the display and quietly, discreetly keys in his general’s code to wipe the fourteen minutes and seventeen seconds of footage from the records completely. He keeps one copy – and that goes straight to his personal datapad, which is biometrically and cryptogenically protected by security measures of Hux’s own design. He’s sure they will be safe there. He hands the data pad off to a passing lieutenant, and continues on with his day. There is not a single second that goes by where he does not think of Kylo, does not hope and even pray to Kylo’s ridiculous Force that his boyfriend is okay. And, in a smaller, much more private place in his mind, he also asks that Kylo not be breaking up with him. He can’t admit it, but losing his…ugh, his _best friend_ …it would kill him.

For God’s sake, he was just standing in his own kriffing quarters wearing nothing but a gold metal bikini, a purple loincloth, and a huge, heavy collar around his neck. He’d even left his hair ungelled, flopping into his eyes the way he knew Kylo liked. _What had he done wrong?_

******** 

A few days later, he finds out, and _wow_ , just…oh dear _God._ When Kylo tells him, Hux wants to _scream._ Or sink into the floor and die. Maybe throw himself out of an airlock. _Something._

“She’s _what?!_ ” he shrieks again.

Kylo just looks at him, preternaturally calm. Well, he’s had a three day joyride in his personalized TIE Silencer to come to terms with this utter disaster. Hux has had…he glances at the display on his ever-present datapad…three minutes, nine seconds. To process. The worst thing that has ever happened to him. In his life. Worse than Snoke berating him that first time. Worse than his father. Worse than that one time at the Academy when he was a child and there was that humiliating accident after a particularly _long_ lesson…worse than all of that. Combined. And multiplied by seven thousand and fifty five. Squared. To the power of infinity. Worse than _anything_ he could have _ever_ imagined.

“Your _mother_?!” He shrieks again. Yes, he knows his voice is childishly high, reaching durasteel shattering levels. He doesn’t even care. Kylo has laid waste to this ship already. A few cracked windows won’t even make a difference. Plus, this is _actually warranted._

“I _dressed up like your mother?!_ For _sex?!”_ He’s screaming now, loud enough that he’s sure people can hear despite the soundproofing in his quarters. It’s still not enough to deter him.

“Um, yes.” Kylo says it flatly, like he’s embarrassed, too. Good, he _should_ be.

“Why didn’t you _tell_ me?!” Hux splutters. Kylo is wincing now, squirming where he stands.

“Because, it’s _embarrassing,_ okay?! _God, my fucking family…”_ He trails off, face scarlet red and burning so hot that Hux can feel the heat from feet away. A thought suddenly occurs to him.

“Oh God.” Hux blanches. “Oh God.”

“What?” Kylo starts to say, but Hux just holds up a hand.

“Oh – Oh _God._ I – ”

“What?” Kylo presses, looking concerned.

Hux sinks to the floor and covers his face with both hands. When he finally answers, he all but wails the words.

“I’ve _jerked off_ to that Kylo. To _porn_ about _your mother_. Oh my God!!” And then he’s screaming again, and so is Kylo, who has turned away to face the wall, shoving his huge hulking form into a corner and pressing his face into the durasteel like he can disappear if he only tries hard enough.

“Ahhh!” They’re both still screaming when Phasma bursts in.

“What in the – ” she stops, taking in the scene: the General, curled into a ball on the floor, hands clamped over his face, screaming and Kylo Ren, who seems to be doing his very best to fuse himself to the wall, also screaming.

Hux looks up for one second, overbright blue eyes peaking out over his fingertips, gone pale and bloodless. Very calmly, but very menacingly, he says, “Phasma. Please.” She does not move. Hux cracks, screams “GET OUT!” at the top of his lungs and she goes, ensuring that the door slides shut behind her. She does _not_ want _whatever_ the hell is going on with her two insane commanders right now getting out and affecting the rest of the ship. Petty Officer Thanisson is coming down the hall towards her. She starts forward in the other direction, grasps him firmly by the elbow as she passes, and spins him right around.

“Trust me,” she says. “Not now.”

Thanisson just nods and lets himself be steered away; the muffled screams from the General’s rooms are more than enough for him to know: it can definitely, _definitely_ wait.


End file.
